


take my breath away

by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Getting Together, M/M, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28508043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: Steve can feel his whole body curling in on itself, can feel the way everything is caving in around him, and as he drifts off to unconsciousness, Steve's last thought isn't the kind of joy he'd expected to experience upon discovering his soulmate.Instead, his last thought ishow does Tony evenbreathelike this?
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 20
Kudos: 199
Collections: 2020 Captain America/Iron Man Holiday Exchange





	take my breath away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cap Iron Man Community](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Cap+Iron+Man+Community).



> Written for the Cap-IM Community gift pool for the following prompt:
> 
>  _"Soulmate!AU where you recognise your soulmate by touch and there is telepathy between soulmates._  
>  Steve wakes up from the ice and he never touches Tony and everything is okay and they aren’t friends exactly but they don’t hate each other. Until one day Steve’s hand brushes against Tony’s and suddenly Steve can’t breathe and everything hurts and he realises that this is how Tony feels all the time and he never knew. "
> 
> Unbeta'ed because deadlines, so please excuse any mistakes!!

It hits Steve all at once. Tony's quick reflexes are the only reason he doesn't end up cracking his skull on the concrete floor. Tony's hands on him are a concrete reminder of how much Steve has apparently fucked this up, because he can feel the strain as Tony fights to support his weight. Steve can feel his whole body curling in on itself, can feel the way everything is caving in around him, and as he drifts off to unconsciousness, Steve's last thought isn't the kind of joy he'd expected to experience upon discovering his soulmate.

Instead, his last thought is _how does Tony even **breathe** like this?_

* * *

Steve comes around in the blank white surroundings of the Tower's medical floor. He stares up at the blank white ceiling from beneath sheets that have been starched to within an inch of their life and feels far too connected to the blankness around him.

He knows Tony isn't there just from the distance in the aches and pains in his chest. He knows this isn't what Tony had meant to happen — neither of them had meant for this to happen — but that doesn't make it any less real. He turns his head to look at Natasha, whose eyes are altogether too knowing where they're focused on Steve's face.

"Hey, Nat."

"Cap."

Steve closes his eyes. Tony must not have explained. There's no other reason Nat would sound so ready to cut him down if he had. "It's not what you think."

"What do you suppose I think "it" is, then?"

"It doesn't matter, there's no way you know what's going on."

"Really? Humor me."

"Nat—"

"Because if this wasn't you collapsing from the intensity of Tony's constant pain because you two finally managed to connect your soul bond, then I don't know what the hell to think."

Steve doesn't bother to hide his shock. "You knew?"

"We all did. We thought you two had already figured it out and that's why you two were always so weird about touching each other."

Steve feels sick, and it isn't from the lingering pain in his chest. He wonders where Tony is that the feeling is so faint. "I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't," Natasha snaps. "Frankly I don't know how we could have thought that, looking back. You've always been too tangled up in your own head to see three feet in front of your face." The words are vicious, but Steve can hear the undercurrent of disappointment in them.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you need to be apologizing too."

Steve nods. "Where is he?"

"Where do you think?"

* * *

Tony doesn't look up when the door to his lab in Malibu opens. He's had it set to the highest security level, which peans it can only be Pepper, Happy, or Rhodey. Which means it can only be Pepper, because Rhodey's abroad and Happy's still in New York. Better to maintain the illusion that he was still over there for a few days longer.

"Not now, Pep. I told you, I don't want to talk about it. I just want to work."

"There's plenty of work for you to do back home."

Tony whips around. It takes him a moment to remember that there's one other person whose codes can get them through that level of security. Damn JARVIS and his simultaneous cross-continental updates.

The corner of Steve's mouth is pulled up in an awkward smile. "Sorry. I didn't actually think JARVIS would let me in."

Neither did Tony, now that he thought about it, but the AI has always worked in mysterious ways, almost as if the old Jarvis is hidden in his mainframe somewhere. Tony considers getting up, but from the ginger way Steve's hovering at the edge of the room, he doesn't think he really wants to engage right now. He turns away, back to the armor specs he'd been working on, and flips through three dozen files until he finds the one he's looking for. "Was there something you needed?" he asks when Steve doesn't leave.

"Can we talk about this?"

Tony's heart lurches. "Talk about what?"

"Tony. Please, don't do this."

"I'm not doing anything." Tony's trembling fingers make a lie of the words. "I'm just here, working. You're the one that came barging in and—"

"Tony."

Tony stills. He lowers his hands to his lap and looks down at them. "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"For. You know." Tony gestures vaguely at his chest. "I'm sorry to do that to you."

"You think that's what I'm upset about?"

"Well, yeah. I know it must suck, but I promise, it gets better, so—"

"Gets better?"

"Well, not necessarily better, but you get used to it, and then it's not so bad. Just give it a few weeks."

"Tony—"

"Seriously, Cap, it's no big deal." Tony's getting frustrated at Steve's refusal to just accept that this is just how his body works, and that in time he'll forget what it's like to not be able to breathe. "I didn't want to put you through this; why do you think I never touch anyone?"

Before Tony can say anymore, there's a pair of strong arms wrapping around his shoulders, pulling him in close with bare palms on Tony's bare shoulders. Tony inhales sharply. He feels Steve flinch against him as the breath presses against the weight and pressure of the arc reactor, something tiny and unnoticeable to Tony after years of living with it.

"Steve—"

"Has it always been this bad?" Steve's voice is rough, though Tony isn't sure if it's pain or emotion that left that tone in his voice. Tony bites his lip. He doesn't want to tell Steve that it used to be worse, but his silence seems to be answer enough. "Fuck, _Tony_ —"

"It's no big deal, Steve." Tony lets his hands rest on Steve's wrists where they cross just below the hollow of his throat. "It's no big deal."

Steve holds him tighter. "Please stop saying that."

Tony swallows a quip and just hangs on for a moment longer instead. "Then what do you want me to say?"

"Nothing. Just... just let me hold you like this for a little longer. Please."

Tony closes his eyes and rests back against Steve. "I can do that."

Silence reigns, but, for once, Tony doesn't feel any urge to break it. Steve is with him, huge and warm and safe, and, for how, he's happy to revel in that. After ten minutes, or twenty, or an hour, Steve tugs Tony to his feet and drags him over to the couch in the corner. It's the same vintage as the one back in Tony's New York lab, and Steve sinks into it heavily, pulling Tony with him. Tony goes, settling between Steve's thighs and resting back against his chest. Steve traces a finger around the arc reactor beneath Tony's thin tank top. Tony shivers.

Steve stills. "Sorry. Did that—"

"It's okay." Tony relaxes even more into Steve's embrace. It's more than he thought he'd get, but he isn't about to start complaining.

Steve moves his fingers around the arc reactor again, something reverent in his touch. "It doesn't hurt?"

"When you touch it? No. No, it doesn't hurt. It feels nice, actually." He adds the last with a sense of daring, knowing that Steve will hear the offer in his voice.

Steve's breath hitches. "Yeah?"

Tony nods. Words feel like too much, spreading through the aching space between them. Tony used to want nothing more than to find his soulmate, to find someone that could feel his entire being this intimately. After Afghanistan, that thought had fled. The idea of subjecting anyone to that sort of pain had been unimaginable. It sucked, not being able to touch anyone that he didn't already know wasn't his soulmate, but he'd managed.

Except then Steve had come crashing into his life, and Tony had known what this relationship was going to be within moments. He'd felt it, that fizzing, crackling energy between them. He'd known that this was going to be forever for him. That had been more terrifying than almost anything else he'd been through.

Steve winds his fingers through Tony's, lifting their entwined hands to look at them. Tony sank into the warmth of human touch, _feeling_ Steve in ways he'd never let himself before. "Is this why you always spar in full gear?"

Tony nods. "Didn't want to put anyone else through this if I could help it."

Steve presses his face into Tony's neck, breathing carefully. Tony stays still, letting Steve take the comfort he needs from his body. "Doesn't mean you should have had to deal with this all alone."

"It felt kinder than to leave you in pain again."

Steve pulls their joined hands to press over Tony's heart, just to the left of the arc reactor. "You think I wouldn't have wanted to share this with you?"

"I didn't want to hurt you."

Steve kisses his neck. "This hurts less than being parted from you would have."

Tony squeezes their joined hands. "I'm starting to understand that."

"Good." Steve noses at Tony's chin until Tony turns and looks down at him. "Kiss me?"

Tony inhales sharply. "You want to seal the bond?"

"I've loved you for months, Tony. I want this with you more than I can say."

"It could make us a liability in the field."

"Then we'll figure it out." Steve shifts behind Tony, manhandling him until Tony's resting across his broad chest. "I want to have this with you. Please."

"You're sure?" Tony wets his lips. "You can't take it back after this."

"I should be asking you that. Are you sure you want to have this with me? You haven't said."

Tony leans forward, resting his forehead against Steve's. "I have loved Cap for years, Steve, and even though I haven't loved Steve Rogers as long, I love him more than I can say. I want this, if you do."

Steve tilts his head closer, his words a breath against Tony's lips "Then kiss me."

Tony doesn't need telling again.

The first brush of lips is electric, the bond bursting to life behind his eyes, all Steve's thoughts and feelings rushing to the forefront. Steve inhales sharply and presses in closer, pulling Tony deeper. Tony scrambles for purchase on Steve's shoulders, fighting for a good angle. He slides his hands over Steve's shoulders, up his neck, and tilts his head into a deeper kiss, fingers buried in his hair.

Steve responds in kind, fingers threading through Tony's hair and holding him close with a palm at the small of his back. It's a cacophony of colors on Tony's tongue, a splash of sound in his fingertips. It's everything; _Steve_ is everything, and that's all Tony's wanted for years. They kiss and kiss until Tony could drown in it without complaint. It's their lives in an instant, the future in a heartbeat, and Tony doesn't ever want it to stop.

Eventually, though, Steve pulls back with a hand rubbing agains this sternum. Tony winces, but before he can say anything, Steve brushes his lips over Tony's. "I'm not sorry, Tony. It's like you said; it's no big deal. Or, rather, it is a big deal. It keeps you alive, and that's the most wondrous thing I can imagine. I'll learn to breathe with it, just like you did, because if it gets me this — gets me _you_ — then it's more than worth it."

For once, Tony doesn't doubt the truth in those words. He kisses Steve once more, soft and quick, before leaning back on his heels. "Well, if you need time to recover, old man, I might as well get back to work."

Steve laughs and grabs Tony by the waist, pulling him in closer. "Now, I didn't say that. I think the best way to learn to live with this—" he taps the center of Tony's chest "—is to practice."

Tony's heart leaps. "Practice, huh? Is that what they called it back in your day?"

Steve pinches Tony's thigh, and he yelps. "You're damn right, you little whippersnapper. Didn't anyone ever tell you to respect your elders?"

Steve swallows Tony's laughter, and, for the first time since they met, maybe even in his whole life, Tony feels whole. He falls into Steve's kiss and lets it take his breath away.


End file.
